I have a few goals this year to help instill more discipline within my character. Not that I’ve always been a scatter brain. Quite the contrary, I’ve been able to accomplish some amazing things in my lifetime because of my dedication (eg: Complete 5 years worth of Priestesshood studies within 3). However, I also know myself to be a lazy ass if I allow it.
And I’m done with allowing it.
2010 is going to mark great change, great progress because my intent is phenomenally strong.
Goal of the First — write in my blog every day to the best of my ability. I say “best of my ability” because if I am down with The Crud™, I certainly will not have the energy to ticka-tacka out a few lines of prose. Or if I’m traveling and out of town. I never bring my laptop camping, so I doubt during festival weekends I’ll be huddled in my Coppery Barn triangulating the nearest wi-fi signal.
Goal of the Second — take a photo every day. Taking one is easy, posting it falls under the caveats of previous goal.
Goal of the Third — create a daily spiritual practice and stick with it. This is a biggie. Way back in the day I used to mediate after work. Every day. Folks noticed a difference in the energy I put out (“Nothing stresses you!”) and I noticed how less my feathers were ruffled. Over the past 14 years, my daily practice has been sporadic at best. I want to change that.
What has spurred this quest for inner discipline has been a long time coming, but today during my morning walk, I got a reminder. Not an Anvil or a Clue x Four, but an affectionate whop upside the back of the head ala Gibbs style.
For the past two weeks I’ve opted to not listen to heart-thumping music while I walk, but to a podcast by T. Thorn Coyle called “Elemental Castings”. Each week (or every other week) she focuses on each element and what they represent in our lives. Today’s was about FIRE: creativity, will, intent. Her guest speaker, Mark, was a man very connected to Energy and Fire. He started his practice way back in high school with martial arts and eventually came through to the Western Esoteric magick through his studies of the Eastern philosophies. Mark quoted everything from Buddhism, to Hinduism, to the Qabbalah regarding Will. But that is not what impressed me. What caught my intention is, for being such a fiery woman to begin with, I have not harnessed the power of my Will to its fullest capacity. To be able to do work with intent, intent to bring Joy into my life. I somehow allowed myself to get sucked up into the mundane worries we all have of bills, rent, and finding a job. I’ve been performing these jobs with no Joy and with only a mere tapping into the power of my Will.
Mark then shared his daily practice, which upon hearing made me feel very, very lazy. He gets up at 4:20am every morning to do his spiritual practice, part of which includes mantra chanting for one hour and doing some working stances out underneath the sun. This does not include his three times a week nightly practice.
I need that. I’ve been feeling the strong need for that, but I have not been complying. I’ve been allowing myself to get distracted with knitting and reading and writing. Not being creative to infuse creative intent, but to keep my mind off of things I know I should be doing.
“You have two choices. You can either be a Slave or a Master,” rang through my earbuds. I sucked in my breath and listened. “You can chose to meditate for an hour or chose to waste your time watching that tv show. Your choice.” Yes. I have a choice. Quite elementary logic in thought, but in practice not so much.
So, I’ve made a choice. I choose to be a Master.