“You didn’t want paradise, you didn’t want hell. So you got what you wanted. Nothing changed. If you had to choose, which would you prefer? Peace or Freedom?”
This was a line from one of my favorite TV show’s season finale. The episode was deep and heart-wrenching as two brothers try to stop the apocalypse they unwittingly started. I’ve been a fan since the series premiere and thanks to it’s grungy, dark, witty, and supernatural flavor, it helped take away the pangs of no more vampire slayer and her broody ex-boyfriend.
The words hit home and I realized just how much I could relate to the character arguing behind the wheel of his cherry sweet 1967 Chevy Impala. He didn’t want to be Heaven’s bitch. He didn’t want to be Hell’s hound. So, his traveling companion told it to him like it is. “Nothing changed.” Somber and sobering.
I was reminded how often I would gripe, “WHEN I get a better job…..” or “WHEN I can pay off all my bills…” or “WHEN I move into a nicer place….” or ….”everything will be better and I’ll be happier.” Well, guess what? Not gonna happen. I need to choose to be happier NOW. If not, “nothing’s changed”. Yes, all those other things will assist in alleviating stress and contribute to a more perky Mutant, but I have a choice. I can choose to let that shit go and just live in the moment or I can live in the future with my spankin’ Delorian and wonder when I’ll be satisfied.
Also, like the character, I refuse to be anyone’s bitch. Even if that means to my own self-delusions to what being spiritual or happy or successful are. I won’t be my own bitch. Peace or Freedom?
I’d choose Freedom.