I’ve been feeling very on edge all day. Annoyed. Frustrated. Angry. The slightest interpersonal gaffe would send me into a virtual frenzy of wanting to punch the client on the other side of the computer in the throat. Perhaps poke an eye out. Or two.
This low tolerance of every day bullshit surprised me. Normally, I can take most things with a grain of salt; a shrug of “Well, it is what it is.” Apparently not today. Today wanted me to bark at the client of how asinine they were behaving. How I wanted my cube mate to stop yammering on so I could have some peace and quiet. How I wanted to shove my dual monitors off my desk, leap onto my chair and scream, “GET OFF ME!! ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!! I’M THROUGH PLAYING NICE!!!”
By the time I got home, the grating feeling had intensified and decided to invite along Restlessness and Sadness for the ride. I felt like I wanted to break out of my skin.
In the crux of the moment, I posted this to my Facebook:
I’ve been feeling very on edge today. Annoyed. Frustrated. Angry. Feels like stuff that was once buried is bubbling up to the surface for release. All hail the Thinning Veil. Not only is it a time to honour the Final Harvest and our Beloved Dead, but it’s also a time to embrace your own Shadow and get rid of shit you can’t hold onto any longer.
A few of my friends commented saying they had been feeling similar. Then Sandy mentioned, “Don’t forget the Mayan calendar thing as well; the turning of the wheel is turning us right into a new world. It’s not surprising that some of us need to transform a bit along with it.”
Oh great. That would explain it. Toss in the approaching Full Moon and Samhain and you’ve got a party. It would also explain the low growl and snarl I hear at the back of my mind. A Wolf telling me to get rid of this shit and he would protect me in the process. Another Transformation. I love them. I hate them. Love them for the outcome, hate them for the process because the process HURTS. And I’m no fool. I know full well what it is I need to finally deal with and let go, not just gingerly pat the surface. Oh no. I need to full on acknowledge my pain, anger, hurt, sadness and loneliness. Undiluted. No watering it down for later or burying it for “I’ll deal with it next week”.
It truly is the time of the Thinning Veil. Not only between worlds of the Living and the Dead, but between our own Selves and the Masks we wear. Illusions are being stripped. The glossy, foggy Veil is being pulled back from our eyes so we can behold Truth.